


The Fault in Our Bows

by HisParadiseLost



Category: Billie Eilish (Musician)
Genre: Crack Fic, F/F, No Smut, for the shits and giggles, plz dont come at me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:14:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24802144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HisParadiseLost/pseuds/HisParadiseLost
Summary: Billie is going on tour and her manager decided to have JoJo Siwa be her opening act. These two teenagers are complete opposites - are they going to survive the tour?-Or: a crack!fic one person asked for.
Relationships: Billie Eilish/Jojo Siwa
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	The Fault in Our Bows

“So you know how we’ve been looking for the perfect opening band?” Brandon Goodman, one of Billie’s co-managers asked her.

Billie looked up from her phone. “Uh, yeah?”

“Well, we were seeing who was interested in going on tour at the same time we were and the list was narrowed down to a small group. We were having trouble picking who it should be when we got an interesting offer.” Billie nodded and rolled her hand in a ‘go on’ motion. “JoJo Siwa is interested in doing the opening act for this tour.”

The young artist threw her head back and cackled. “Nice one, G-Man.” She wiped away imaginary tears. “Seriously, who’d you get?”

“I seriously got JoJo Siwa.” She stared at him in disbelief but it didn’t seem as if he was pranking her.

“You’re deadass?”

“I am,” he confirmed. “You both have a young fan base - it could bring in new fans. She’s 17, you’re 18. It’s not too bad of an idea. Even Danny agreed it was a smart move.”

Billie pursed her lips and slouched back into her chair. “You do realize she dresses like a 12-year-old and sings about happiness and sunshine? This tour is kind of the opposite of that. We’re polar opposites.”

“Exactly! It’ll bring an interesting dynamic to the table. She’s an icon who’s trying to show she’s worth having a contract with once the one she has with Nickelodeon expires. You could give her a career boost and her fans will love you,” Brandon tried to explain. Well, he was a pretty convincing person. “If you are seriously appalled by the idea, we can say no. You know we don’t want to ruin anything for you.”

Billie stayed quiet as she thought about it. On the one hand, he was right. The younger girl’s contract was going to end in a year and not many people knew who JoJo Siwa was outside of the merchandise they saw at Target - Billie included. She knew next to nothing on the teen except for the bright colors and overwhelming amount of glitter. But that was just it. Billie was known for her darkness and somewhat edgy looks. How could she tour with someone the complete opposite of her? What if the kid got glitter all over the place? Or tried to get Billie to wear a bow?

“Has anyone asked the kid herself yet?” She opted to ask while she continued to think it through.

“She said she’s open to the idea.”

The teen sighed. “Can I at least have a phone call or something to get to know her before I just agree to this?” Usually, she wouldn’t mind, but going on a 6-week tour with someone she might not mesh with was a big deal to her.

Her manager nodded. “Of course. I can arrange for a meeting next week after your interview with CatCo.”

“As long as there’s food,” she muttered. Why was she actually considering this again?

“Deal. I’ll leave you be for now, then.” He nodded at her and walked out of the room.

Billie still had twenty minutes left on her break before she had to go back to recording with her brother. She wondered what he’d think about the situation. With another heavy sigh, she pulled out her phone and looked up JoJo Siwa to see what she was getting herself into.

-

Finneas tossed the keys to his younger sister. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

Billie caught them and pulled out her phone to check the time. “I’m sure. I’m just going to her house, it’s not like she’s going to kidnap me or anything.”

“Just making sure. Drive safe and text me when you’re there. Don’t be out too long, I wanna know all the juicy details about the date!”

“It’s not a date.” Billie rolled her eyes. She walked over to her mom and dad to say goodbye before heading out. Once in her car, she put the GPS on and listened to Justin Bieber on the way over.

Half an hour later, she was in the driveway to the Youtuber’s house. The black gates slowly opened. She was used to the long driveways and big houses from her celebrity friends, but she honestly wasn’t expecting it from JoJo. She pulled her car up next to a tesla that was decorated with JoJo’s face. Well, that was kind of creepy.

Once parked, Billie locked her car and headed towards the front door. Before she could even knock on it, it was swung open by the bane of her existence. Though, she wasn’t expecting the girl to be so fucking tall.

“Hi! It’s sooo nice to meet you!” JoJo extended her hand. Billie looked down on it and was thankful she still had shades on to hide her expression. She shook the hand. “Come in, come in! Let me introduce you to my mom first and then we can go up to my room for some privacy. Mom!” The blonde turned around and headed towards the kitchen. Billie followed along.

“It’s nice to meet you, Billie. I’m Jessalynn, but you can call me Jess.” They shook hands. “I’m making some quick snacks that I’ll bring up in a bit. Danny mentioned that you’re vegan, so I kept that in mind while making things.” The chirpy tone and bright smile almost threw the singer in for a loop.

“Uh, thanks. That was really thoughtful of you.”

“I wanted to make sure that you’re getting the full Siwa treatment! JoJo is a vegetarian. She’s a bit timid to fully commit to being vegan. Maybe you could convince her to take the leap.”

“Mom!” JoJo’s face tinged pink. “We’ll be upstairs.” Billie awkwardly waved to Jess and followed the Youtuber up the stairs.

Billie let her eyes roam around the house as her legs followed the taller girl. The walls had a good amount of posters with JoJo’s face plastered on it. Billie knew for a fact that she wouldn’t have been able to live in a place with her face everywhere. She could barely stand looking in the mirror.

JoJo opened the door and Billie’s eyes widened at the sight. It almost gave her vertigo. It honestly seemed like a Candyland board game came to life and threw up everywhere.

“Your room is… interesting.” Billie decided on.

JoJo shrugged and looked bashful. “I know it’s a bit much. But it’s kind of what’s expected of me and I don’t mind it, really.”

“So you’re not actually all rainbows and glitter?”

“Oh, no, I am,” JoJo affirmed. “I love the glitter and the bright colors and the slime, don’t get me wrong. This is just an over-exaggeration, though. Are you really all dark and depressing? Do you eat spiders?”

“Okay, fair point,” Billie conceded. “So you want to do the opening act for my concert? You have listened to my music before, right?”

“Yeah, I have your albums.” She walked over to her dresser and opened the third drawer. “When the party’s over is my favorite. Actually, since you’re here, can I get your autograph? Or is that kinda weird?” JoJo laughed nervously. The whole situation was weird in Billie’s opinion so she shrugged and waited for the blonde to look for a sharpie. Of course, it was neon pink.

The singer scribbled her signature. “You’re one hundred percent certain that you want to tour with me? It’s going to be cross country in 6 weeks. We’ll be living on the tour bus the whole time. I know you’re a very energetic kid, but will you be able to keep up with your performances for that long?

“Yep,” JoJo nodded her head vigorously. “If you agree, we’re going to have 3 groups of dancers each do two weeks so they don’t tire out. We have enough time until September to run rehearsals and plan everything out. Do you want to join us or…? She trailed off, unsure if Billie was the type of person to interact with her opening act.

“No, no. I trust you’ll have everything under control. Plus, your type of dancing isn’t really what I do.” Truthfully, Billie didn’t really dance during her concerts. She let the music flow through her and hyped up the crowd with jumping around. It also wasn’t really her style to have a whole choreographed dance.

“Right, yeah.” JoJo knew it was a long shot. At least she’d get to spend time with the artist before and after the concert. And the time before leading up when they had meetings to go over logistics. “So does that mean I can open?”

“Yeah.” There wasn’t a good reason not to. The girl wasn’t actually super bubbly so she could at least survive what little interactions they’d have. Finneas and her usually shared a tour bus so that also meant she wouldn’t have to deal with the blonde’s glitter and bright pink bows and blinding personality. “So that candy-” she pointed at the tubes above the bed - “is it just decoration or can you actually eat it?”

Billie ended up staying for just over an hour. Jess brought the snacks up as promised and the two teens discussed their favorite artists the whole time. JoJo was still eccentric and loud so the singer allowed her to do most of the talking.

They waved goodbye to each other. Billie went into her car and drove home as her brain tried to understand what had just happened. When she got home, her brother asked her how it went. Billie shrugged him off saying it was okay and to tell her managers that she was in. Then she went to her bed to take a much-needed nap after having to deal with an interview and a hyper child.

**Author's Note:**

> no, I don't take criticism.


End file.
